new mind-set... new pastel

We'll, I'm still laid-off. Everyone is sad to see me go, but no-one seems concerned enough about it to DO anything. There are programs that I work for that have $35,000 (some have more) dollars that they HAVE to spend on outreach, but they can't save my job. I don't think anyone even tried, or at least not that hard.

So, I am still a little angry about it... but I am not enraged about it (anymore). I realize now that the "universe" or "higher power" or God, or whatever you believe (I believe it all...) is telling me what I need to do. I have been taking really small baby-steps to get there; now I have to charge ahead and get serious about it. I'm starting my own freelance business... I'm terrified. I really can't imagine relying on freelance to make a living! I will continue my job search, but if I can make money at it I won't have to take just any job out of desperation... I can actually wait until I find a creative job better then the one I had. That is my ultimate goal... my next job will be the next step. I will not go back and I don't really want to step to the side. There is a job that pays the same as my old one, and I would accept it because the experience is the "next level."

The wheels are in motion. I have paid for my url (when I upload my pages I will announce it); I have a friend who will help me to get a small business loan; I am going to get my business license with my next paycheck. Then I have tons of other things I need to do... business cards, promo cards, leave behind mini-portfolios, invoices, etc. It is a little overwhelming, but now that some of it is done I feel much more sure about it. The big thing was my web-site and now I am glad that I did it for my mid-term; I need to change some things and add some pages, but it is ready to make "really" live! Yay:)

I have also started trying to create "fine art" in my new space and it is doable. It's no studio, but if I work in the kitchen I can just mop up the pastel dust. If I had a large easel... I could do it out my front door! I'm just not committed enough to it to get it done.

Here is a small (4"x 4" canvas) pastel taken from my "Soar" ideas... I like it, but is isn't quite there yet. I did put it in a shadow box to see how it looked and it really popped out against the black. I'm kind of excited. I could make a ton of these and just hang them all together on one wall and then I could give them away for presents, one by one! We'll see about that, too.