Volunteering?!

I accepted an offer to be a part of a mural project. It is kind of funny, because I am not really a painter and I don't really have much free-time... but it is a great opportunity to work with other artists and collaborate. At first I was the only one that was there to meet with the shows designers and to come up with a direction... so in the interest of getting the project over with as soon as possible with the least amount of disruption in my life, I came up with a concept and a plan to to see that concept through... then the other artists showed up! I have to get my brain out of the idea that I have no time and am not taking care of myself, and just get into the process. It is hard to get my head out of my bills and work and family needs... I am really overwhelmed, but when I let myself get into the process it really is satisfying to see the art and concept emerge. The other artists have been very patient with my hesitation and I appreciate that.

The really eye-opening thing that I have experienced in the last three weeks is that I have realized that even though I work creatively every day, I don't think like a traditional artist; although I think many traditional artists think methodically and conceptually like I do. The mural project being the most recent spring-board to realization, I also received a forwarded email of a spinning silhouette from which you can tell what side of your brain you are using by which way you see it spinning. When I received the email I was taking a break from working on the lay-out for a big project and I saw it spinning clock-wise. I wasn't too surprised; it meant that I was using the left side of my brain (mathematical, relational, analytical). Which means that I spend most of my work life using the left side of my brain. What a rip-off! I thought I was a "creative" and that is how I want to identify myself. But, it makes sense that I have all these "artistic" ideas that are trying to jump out of my head... I am still not getting that side fully-realized at my job. Would I really want to waste my art on work? I don't think so. So, I am happy that I have a "creative" job, but I have realized that I still need to realize my deeper art.

In my Art and Technology class John Fehringer has said that he keeps some of his art to himself and doesn't show it or sell it. He says that he has to separate his art from the art that he sells, because with his the latter he is thinking as he creates it "will this sell?" I am finding myself torn because I want to make my fine-art and sell it (!), so what is left for me? I guess trying to sell what you've made for arts sake is different from making something to sell... but where does the line blur? When everything you make sells? When do you start needing to come up with a different kind of "fine art"?

Anyway, the class and the mural project have been really eyeopening. I would highly recommend taking a class from John Fehringer... he is a really great artist and teacher!